While I was on a twelve week course on Family Therapy, the facilitator said one thing that has stayed with me forever – ‘Most problems in families occur because a change has taken place that hasn’t been negotiated properly’. People think that going off the drink is a reason for everyone to be happy but sobriety takes as much negotiation as drunkenness in a family setting.
Change is not only about excitement; it has its challenges. I remember a mother getting upset because her son who was in prison didn’t want to see her. His reason was simple: he was due for release and visits were making him anxious. Everyone was talking about what they were going to do when he got out but he still had another hard few months to do. Other people’s excitement was his chaos and upset. He just wanted to put the head down and do the time.
Most people, particularly in the Church, talk lovingly about change. Some, it appears, have an addiction to change. However, change that requires loss of status or necessitates more commitment is often avoided. We just want to put our head down and do our time as easily as possible. Change in places like parishes, schools or companies present an opportunity for some to advance their agendas and when that fails to happen they can slip back into their own rut, that is their own personal view of how the Church should be run. This is merely tinkering at the edges of our own comfort.
The journey of faith, especially for one on a Judaeo-Christian faith journey, is not simply one of change – it is one of transformation. Old ways are left behind and new ways are embraced. The ultimate expression of this is the Resurrection. The transformation that occurred in the person of Jesus allows our thinking on suffering and death to be transformed into ever greater possibilities. He just didn’t tinker at the edges. The transformation of the Resurrection is so great that the story of the human condition can be re-written for those who believe and even for those who find it difficult to believe. Death is not mere change, it is radical transformation which is real and lasting change.
Death is the way into the divine presence, the resolution of a lifetime of wonder and waiting – Sr Stan